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I am a serene pheonix...
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Zach Brown's LiveJournal:

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Friday, August 14th, 2009
6:33 am
emergency nothing.
I really, really wish I had good friends to talk to right now.(as in this moment, cos most people on this list ARE good friends, and some are on their way.)

Current Mood: worried
Tuesday, February 17th, 2009
2:44 am
I've got a secret...
Not ready to tell yet.
Thanks Frank!!
Monday, February 9th, 2009
1:20 am
I HAVE COMPUTER!!
Ahem. Sorry for raising my voice, but at long last I have a computer again! So I can now surf the interwebs again and get into trouble! This also means that I can resume work on writing.
I also have secret news of awesomeness that I can't yet reveal. Life is good!
Thursday, February 5th, 2009
8:50 am
inspirations
So I was talking to one of my customers yesterday about the old movies that inspired us. His was Thunderball and he explained that he had unconsciosuly set out to do many of the same things Bond had.
I realized that what inspired me most wasn't film, but instead was old-time radio. Most notably The Shadow and Arch Obler's Lights Out Everybody. These cultivated a lifelong interest in hypnosis, horror, writing, and the power of voice-acting. Now I just need to find a way to combine all of these into a way to make a living.

Current Mood: artistic
Thursday, July 31st, 2008
10:16 pm
30
Well folks, it finally happened. I have finally reached the thirty year mark in my infestation of the earth. Run and flee puny humans! Run and flee! I have reached the next stage in my development and have emerged from my cocoon of doubt and self-loathing a stronger monster. And I am seriously gonna rock! So Beware! The Pooka is coming to take over the world!
Friday, July 25th, 2008
1:48 am
Life, don't talk to me about life...
Ok, here it is, officially less than a week before my 30th birthday. Time to take stock I guess. Life right now is pretty rough financially, but in the midst of money and job problems, touched with moments miraculous and beautiful. My faith has been stronger than has been in years, my commitment to love and beauty great. And I know that my life has been incredibly rich compared to others. But I feel that I should be more, that I should have done more. I resolve to attempt more in the next 30 years. I resolve to go after my dreams with the fierceness I've lacked.
In other news, I saw Dark Knight and Gonzo today. I enjoyed Dark Knight, but don't feel compelled to rave about it like everyone else. Gonzo was beautiful and sad. Right now, more than anything else, I wish I had someone to share that with.

Current Mood: longing
Friday, May 2nd, 2008
12:32 am
Victory is Mine!
It's the small victories in life that sometimes matter most. Knowing that other people in the universe have found happiness, knowing that life continues. Sometimes we just need inspirational fuel for our journeys, and we'll take what we can get. I take my fuel from two people finally finding each other, from a puppy that sleeps contentedly, and from the joy of knowing that I still have a lot to learn. This journey has been long, and it's not always been easy, but I am truly thankful for my life, and all the many friends that have taught me on my way.

Current Mood: content
Tuesday, April 15th, 2008
10:59 pm
Just a quick note.
Dr. Who rocks.
You may return to your business.

Current Mood: cheerful
Wednesday, March 26th, 2008
2:15 am
Sometimes the Bear eats you...
Ok, so a post about a couple of things. First off, I know everyone under the sun has become aware of the The Secret. The odd thing is, my Dad taught us this when we were little kids. I never believed it because it seemed way too simple. Nowadays, I'm finally starting to understand.
My latest problem is that I don't fully know what to do with my life. Part of this has been that for the last 4 years or so, I haven't received much positive reinforcement.
I kept promising myself that the next great love of my life would be the next one to pursue me. But guess what? She left me high and dry for 4+ years. So apparently, she doesn't care to make herself known. The end extreme badness is that I spend the rest of my life alone. But guess what? 4 years in, and I'm still alive, so c'mon, bring it on!
Thursday, March 13th, 2008
1:48 am
Imagine This...
I deserve to be loved only as much as I love others.
My soulmate will love me as much as I love them.

Current Mood: quixotic
Wednesday, March 5th, 2008
12:53 am
R.I.P. Gary Gygax
Gary Gygax has leveled up and attained godlike status. He was the co-creator of Dungeons and Dragons, and will now be running the game for Jesus and Buddha. Make sure they aren't rolling loaded dice, pal.

Current Mood: melancholy
Wednesday, February 27th, 2008
1:53 am
The story of my life.
So. There was this girl. Who I had a real connection with. But she was dating someone else, I couldn't pursue her. And so I went the honorable route and said nothing, and was just a supportive friend. The end. I died completely alone.
Friday, February 22nd, 2008
3:51 am
And now for something completely different...
ok, here's a question for all my friends. If you could/had to kill me, how would you do it? Bonus points for creativity, and no, I'm not depressed, I'm actually smiling as I post this.

Current Mood: whimsical
Wednesday, February 20th, 2008
12:20 am
It's not always so...
When we are young, our parents and teachers tell us things that are simply not true. They tell us we can be anything we want, and I'm here to tell you, brother, that's a load of bull.
I wanted to be R2D2.
Not the midget actor inside of R2, or the remote control operator of R2, but the real deal. No amount of wishful thinking is gonna ever make me into a full-fledged plucky little droid. With the cool gadgets stowed away inside and all. Heck it's also pretty unlikely that I will ever even be a cyborg. But that's ok, really. I've accepted my limitations and I'll move on.
But there were other lies.
Sometimes people tell you horrible things about yourself. And sometimes they are completely lying. You're not a good person, you're stupid, you're lazy. Oh really? Because unless your name happens to be God, then you don't get to make that assessment. And the only thing worse than saying something like that is believing it.
So, from here on out, I'll make you all a deal. I won't believe any of the lies I've been told, if you stop believing the lies I've told. Anyone I have hurt, if you have internalized that and somehow believed that you are somehow less unique and amazing as you are, I beg for your forgiveness. And I also beg that you let it go. The things that hurt us, we don't need them anymore. We can let them go, and become closer to who we're all supposed to be.
Goodnight, and I love you all.
Tuesday, February 19th, 2008
2:08 am
I have the day off, which is good. I have biils to pay, but other than that, fun abounds. Thank God for little things.
Wednesday, February 13th, 2008
2:14 am
I wish I didn't care, and I wish I didn't hurt. But hopefully, if all goes to plan, I will have one thing that makes my life worth having been here.
Friday, December 21st, 2007
3:49 am
In honor of my hero
Happy Birthday Frank.
You always remind me that more is possible than we believe.
Even moreso after your last post.
I just wanted to take the time to say that you have inspired me more than I am able to say.
Happy birthday my mentor, and good luck.
Friday, October 19th, 2007
11:43 pm
So...some things....
I've been thinking about deleting my journal and starting over again.
to the few of you who read this, what do you think? Am I better starting over, or would it be better if I acknowledge the past and move on?
Tuesday, September 4th, 2007
12:30 am
Ok, so I'll jump right into it. Today we scattered my grandmother's ashes. She died Friday, and I got the call just after getting through registration at DragonCon. I've been dealing with her death slowly, so it's been an odd process. Thanks go to Mina, Amanda and Sean for their kind words and support. Also, oddly enough today at the funeral I reconnected with my friend Kathy, whom I haven't seen in nearly forever. That's pretty much it for now. I'm gonna go get some sleep.
Monday, August 27th, 2007
10:09 pm
Me am amused...
So, there is apparently a syndrome called "restless legs syndrome", and there is a new drug out called Requip to treat it. So, I was watching a commercial for said new drug, and I heard the following side effect: "you may feel an increased urge to gamble"...huhbuhwhat? Ok, so this drug, for my restless legs, may make me a compulsive gambler! I'm so glad I left the real world for Bizarro world!

Current Mood: amused
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